Maybe I’m lying to myself and I’m in love with Sibin... or maybe I’m not. I’m not sure. Anyway, I still sing a song that makes me think about him. I will never tell him what I feel for him… because I’m not sure if it’s real and he doesn’t need to know.

Things between he and I are impossible. I know so I don’t have any hope.
Ernst haven’t phoned me!!! Arrrggg I hate him, he just sent me a silly SMS on Wednesday. I cant understand  what met want… any idea?
I talked to my friends about Ernst and even Sibin thinks he just wanna take advantage of me (again xD oops). So, I don’t know if I should meet him again. What does he think? That he can’t forget about me for years and then suddenly say: “let’s meet” ?? oh, hell no…. I’m not available wherever he wants. xD

This year is my last year of holidays because my classes will start soon… oohhh ohhh I still need to plan my Thesis because I think professor will ask us about our topics and I have nothing. Also, I guess I should take a break coz I have been working almost all summer L. Ok, don’t worry about me, in winter I will have lots of holidays coz I will finish my social job and yeeeeeeeeeees, I will finish all my classes at university so I will be free to go wherever I want… and yeeees… I can go to meet Sibin or to Brazil… or both hahaha, no , I can’t go to both places… so expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it’s crazy but after all …we just live once … and I have a strange feeling about this boy.
Last week, he sent me a new pic of him (coz I almost begged for it) and he looked like a zombie haha and I told him that and he said: thanks xD. Anyway, I still likeeee him, but not much as before… I don’t know, maybe I idealize him very much …
yesterday, I went to cut my  hair and the hairdresser was a cool Cuban guy who gave me a new look… I think my hair was already too long. I also think I can dye my hair .. to look even more gorgeous than I am hahahaha.

Well, I have to study a lot.. I need to be better than yesterday. So, I promise each day I will try to be better.  
By the way, my boyfriend (the one who lives far away) still love me… oh my god…I don’t know what to do with that… I think everything is over between us.. maybe I wasn’t made to love. Maybe, I can’t love….  But I don’t wanna hurt him.

To finish this post… I wanna make a list of things to do before dying.