I feel a bit sad, I don’t know why. I try to do other things so I won’t think about it. I believe only people who have nothing to do have time to think: “ohh I’m sad, I’m feel lonely”. Whatever, I feel sad.

Yesterday was my first day in my experience job. It was a good day I did nothing J and people there are kinda nice. Today, I arrived at 9:00am and left at 14:20. I worked so much that I felt so stressed. I was about breaking the computer coz I just wanted to finish my job, my back hurt me so much (coz I had a stupid chair). Anyway, next month a girl will go and I will take her place. J My boss Ivette is a very good woman and I will just stay there for 6 months. I will survive. I never thought working was soooo hard and tiring.

Today, I went the customs that are near the airport. Oh my god, it’s so fucking far. Kary and I want to take a course about customs for our résumé. The course is from 17:00 to 19:00 and during summer I will work from 11:00 to 15:00. So, If I take the course I will be busy (and away of my lovely internet service) all day!!!! I won’t have time to chat or anything hehehe. Maybe, that’s a good option I need to be away from everything. The airport is so far away from my home and the way to arrive there is not very good neither. I don’t know if I will take the course or not.

It seems everybody goes away from my life but I always stay in the same place. When will I go away? When will people ask themselves “oh where’s Sam??. It seems people come and go from my life and I always waiting, but when they come back they have been deleted for my hard disk and been sent to a hidden place in my hearth system.

Well, so many things happened during my day but I have no one to talk about them. While I was walking after  job I was thinking: -oh I’d love to tell this to Chico B. But, who I try to deceive??J I guess he has better things to do than talk to me…We only talk about crazy things. I must stop liking him…. J

I think Em has already gone of the city and its probable I won’t see him again. He didn’t even say farewell to me. I talked to him last week and I asked him what he thinks about me and he answered:    “you are a great person,  with a great sense of humor, very nice to be with, charismatic, without mention what is obvious to me that you are very good-looking,  but the main things is that you are very drunk”. Later he said: the last thing was a joke, but 80% of the times I have met you you have been a little drunk. Oh my god!!! Well, I can explain that. I met him in a kind of club so everybody goes there to drink and dance, so I’m not an alcoholic hehehehe. J

It seems I’m losing my dreams. They are all broken now. I don’t have dreams now. What I wanted to do a month ago has not logic for me today. It seems Haz has not a place in my life now. He is so far away and it seems distance defeated us….  I need to plan my life again. Wow, sometimes I can’t see my life without Haz but now I can’t see my life with him. I’m confused once again.

By the way, today while I was in the subway I could hear a woman started to talk to a young lady and she said: I want to talk about god with you. The woman started to talk about Jesus and the Bible and I felt like if it was God sign…..  Gold help me….. I don’t wanna hurt anyone. I just want to be loved…is that too much to ask for??? L