My life

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Jun 19th 2009, 01:21 PM

I understand. Life is something not perfect. Do not tell me that your life is perfect. Because, say you're false. I have experienced. And I know it's painful how. I understand all out. Yes. Do not think you are important to someone. Because, you never are all by someone. You do not know about it. I grew up in a family are said to be rich. I am been a Princess. From small, I'm always loved. I live free. I have what I want. But for me, is not happy. Perhaps, I too greedy? I do not know. What I need is just near the family over. I love my family too. But it looks like, they do not recognize it.
Between me and they always have a certain distance. They have taught me that: 'Do not be too greedy. Let go of what can, and don't hope be response '. I have done so. I go for all. I communicate all my heart. And as a result, I have pain for a long time. Bleeding heart. When you realize that all that I have received only disloyalty is impermanent. I hash. Break my heart. I was trying to escape the fear.
I fell into the pain. I have been hash. I tried to escape the feeling of it. But everything is just ... I try to. But as I try to more frustration. I expect the luck. I lost my faith. Nothing can tell the pain of mine. I accepted it as a normal way. I left it.
Perhaps with someone, I can not be considered as good. I accept the evaluation's. But you have time you think you better than you or I perfect? I know I is not perfect. And I also know you are not perfect. In us, no one perfect. Between me and you totally different. Yes I know. I complete other things. Characteristics? Family? And the blood flow? I know all. But I never evaluate that I better you or you better me. All are wrong.
I'm not perfect and you're also perfect. I know what is the hurt.
I was and am hurting. I don't forget. I learned a lot from life. But I was wrong again. I don't understand why. Why did I stupid? I was wrong. I was repeating the error of the past. The past? I'm too small. The little made me change. I became a cold. I do not smile as jokes when I was a child.
I do not give everything I have. I do not want. I see everything as a prank. I always suspected. I'm afraid. I don't know what you think about me. Maybe, I don't know do you read my blog. Hope you will read.
But now, I changed again. I gave everything, just to my lover have happiness. I'm ready to giving everything. And as long as my lover here with me. I don't own him. He has your freedom. And I have also so.
I know he did not love me. I know. I was still give him all what I can. And my heart is breaking. I'm such many afflictions that I can't cry. I can't.
I will give him all. What would you do, if you were me?