What is imagination?  Is it like a purposeful dream?  I think imagination is really our own little world.  It really shows how powerful the mind can be.  The thoughts and ideas we have try to fill in those holes of ignorance.  Filling those holes doesn't necessarily mean that the world is better.  It just means you suited it to your liking, which of course isn't necessarily real or good either.  We have an imagination to be able to consider alternate scenarios, to think up creative schemes, to help us cope with things we don't understand, to comfort us in our grief.  Sometimes they even haunt us and plague us to the point of lunacy.

  I have a vivid imagination.  It's the reason I never watch scary movies anymore.  The last scary movie I saw in theatres was Blair Witch Project, which at the time I thought was utterly ridiculous and gave me frequent head aches because of the camera motions.  I was with my best friend Chris.  It was just us two, and he was disappointed in the movie too.  However, after the movie the scenes kept playing over and over and over in my head.  There was nothing I can do to get them out.  For a long while, I couldn't watch anything that had anything to do with trees, not even cartoons.  That made for creative expression as far as entertainment was concerned, let me tell you.

  Anyway, I can't even remember when the movie was made.  It could have been clear in 1999 or something, when Prince's song Party Like It's 1999 meant something.  I never could watch scary movies though, not even scary video games.  When I was in second grade, my dad played the nintendo all the time.  One game that he played often was Metroid.  Metroid scared me so much, and that would be what he played, for hours after he'd come home from work.  I would sit there and watch him play, not saying anything, just watching.  One time I had a nightmare of Metroid where Samus was jumping up those weird shell like things with the crawlie things running around them, and all I could see Samus doing was jumpin up and up and up as if there was no end.  For some reason that scared me too.  The unnerving feeling of never being able to escape.  Plus all of the aliens, and they were hard, and the Mother Brain?  omg, it was too much for a seven year old to take.  I never forgot that game, and I cringe every time I hear about it.
  The problem with life is that it's not like a tv screen, a movie, or a video game that you can just turn off.  And my imagination is still just as keen.  So when there are a lot of things that worry me or scare me, I can't escape them.  Some may say that it's all mind over matter, but that's because they don't understand how I feel or what I go through.  It's not so simple just to "tune it out."  I'm plagued by my thoughts and I see them over, and over, and over.  This is the danger of living a solitary life, because the world as you see it can quite possibly be made up.  I know I am guilty of overthinking to the point where I spiral emotionally and think the worst and feel helpless and bitter and void.  Sometimes I can catch myself and I try to shake it off.  But other times, when there seems to be no reassurance, no hope, no light at the end of the tunnel, my fortitude weakens.  So I look for a ray, a hand, something to hold onto.  It isn't fair of me to do that though for I need to find the strength within myself.  Sometimes, it helps a great deal to know that you're not alone.