When i was a girl, i always have an idea that i'll find out my Mr right and get married with him and then, like the prince and princess,live in a happy life.

Untill now, i lost my notion, and i wonder what's exactly a marriage means to a woman?

Now it's too late in the night but i can't get sleep. I've lost my goal and even those beautiful dreams, and i don't know why. Maybe it's all my fault, or someone else's. And now, it's not important, what's the most serious thing is that it made my life just a mess.

Maybe i should give up my marriage, at least get him some free time and both for me to think about our relationship and to deal with those problems.

Work is the most important thing for me now and i'll do my best to get a doctor's degree and i want to change my life, at least i want to change my place, change my idea to life, only when i lose my hope in marriage or that so called Mr right can i find myself.

Real life is cruel, and now i know. I know that you can change nobody's mind except yours, and i know that more hope more loss. So, just take easy,both for hope or marriage.

After my work on this morning, i cought a look about a report that's related to charities. It's reported that in nowadays, charity is going on a twisty way that all measured of defined by exactly money, if you take out so much money ,then it show your nice heart and you'll accordingly received some kind of reputation for your actions. And when it comes to money, to some less rich persons,or some poor guys, they may have not so much money ,but they have mercy heart and they want to do his own contribution too. But the high threshhold hac elimilated them and money becomes the standard to justify your kind.

When having this report, i thought about another kind of charity. That's mental help,for example, encouragement, confidence arousing training or lectures. We all know that it's oneself that can finally make himself success, and endure through  difficulties ,so,we have so much succeed people and they have so much  precious experiences and knowledge, and that's exactly can support our loser guys.

So i think,money is not everything, and charity is support and encouragement in deed,so mental help and those precious trasures are the most important gifts.

This night we'll have playing activities. When hearing the news on call from my husband,i felt so happy and a little embarrassed. He said it's bored to stay in the room and we can go out to have fun, because i alway whiny at home for having no entertainment in free time and i was so bored in life. So,this will be a nice night.

And another good news is that i'll preper for pregnant.This afternoon, i went to hospital to have my all related functions checked, and concluded that they're all fine for my plan. And after the beginning, we'll have an entirely new future.

Best wishes for me!

These days, i though about my life again and agin, and when i opened the web page and saw all your comments after my blogs, i felt so happy and i cherished those unknow friendship so much.

I'll be stronger and have a nice talk with my guy, even though we got bad temper those days, still i believe our relationship is deep in our heart, and i believe he'll take serious on me and our future.

At the end, thank you for your guys' help! God bless you!