Ok... here it is...

I still get messages asking if my pic is real. That pic is actually me. I have more pics on my homepage.

My Homepage

I have a little free time but don't chat too often because "people" often leave their info and pic blank. And I have replied to a few messages asking to chat and there is no response, so I assume either they lost interest or I get filtered out by the anti-spam.

I have had some bad experiences in the past with talking to those "faceless" people. I don't mind getting to know some people but I hate wasting my time with fake chatters that pretend they are something they are not in the real world.

I have nothing I need to hide. I have many pictures of myself, a lot to do with my artwork. And I exposed my soul to those who look and expect the same towards me. I am who I am and there is no changing that, nor do I want that to change.

Anyways...
For those that are interested in talking but wish hide in cyber-anonymity (unknown in the cyber world), send any info you wish for me to know and any of your real pics to my icq mail.

1311690@icqmail.com  or WildElf@icqmail.com

I leave my icq on most of the time even if I am not there and I will check my icq email periodically.

I used to use nothing but ICQ but as of lately I pretty much just use it to see who is on and leave a quick message for those that have not switched to another program yet. A few years ago it was a really good program. And then they upgraded. They removed individual sounds for each person on the list. The cam and voice setting became extremely poor. They kept changing it and now it is pretty much one of the lamest chat programs. I switched to msn live messenger. And now, they removed the blog from your personal icq site. So now you have to jump back and forth. And they lost the last few blog entries I made. I see the need for updates, don't get me wrong, but when everything good is removed and empty promises of how great it will be turns out to be bunch of shit. Then, yes, ICQ updates are not good. I think they should go back and see what people really liked, and start over from there.

Ich spreche Deutsch... ein wenig. Ich lerne am Anfang das Jahr. It is only the basics and still very hard for me. I still need to look up and translate some words and sometimes use the wrong words. Hopefully it will get better soon. It makes me feel like a child, not being able to speak exactly what I want. Perhaps it would have been easier to learn at a younger age but then it wouldn't mean as much to me.
Bis später. So far everything has smoothed out and is peaceful for us at the moment!

 I try to better myself everyday. Some days are better than others. I can sit here with a million things to say and can't find the words.

I try to keep my life simple. All I want is to have a loving, loyal relationship. And just like everything else, I try to do my best but sometimes I mess up or I am misunderstood. And then comes is the pain that follows as the love walks away.

Perhaps I became a romantic somewhere along the way.

How this happened? I think it has to do with most of my past relationships all ended with the other cheating on me.

This also made me a bit paranoid and jealous and I know that it can hurt the one I am with.

So what does a romantic do when he pushes the one he loves away??

Right now he cries on a blog and all those stopping in can see his heart bleeding on the ground as his soul is torn apart. Wishing that there was a way he could fix the problems, some of the problems that are out of his control. I can not control her having the need to seek out other men. I don't understand why she needs these men.

I have recieved messages from people that try to hurt me or the ones I care about. Ignore them but some are very cunning and push the right buttons. Why do people go out of their way to cause problems for others? Usually, I am a good-natured person but lately I have had a string of ignorant people that have been riding me lately. I try to keep my life simple and to myself. I know that there are many good people out there but it gets hard to find the trust when it has been soiled by so many. I try to treat people the way I want treated, so in turn I hope to be treated the same. As you can see, I have nothing to hide, so if you want to cause problems, go do it to someone who wants it. (I am not talking to those that are kind and drop in to say "hi").

I believe in "What you give, is what you get". I try to do what is right and end up with a hand full of *%@!. Right now, I try to make some people happy and lay all my cards out on the table and when I want to be happy, I can basically forget it. They hide their cards even further from me... or worse, they get up and leave the table.

Sorry about the rant, I just needed to clear my head and let it out. That is the easiest way of moving on.

As you can see in my messages, I am dating Claudia. She said she loves me so much but treats me like shit. And keeps her "friends" secretive from me. And I am sure they know nothing about me.

  Is it just me or do some people just hate me??

I have not been on here for awhile and was reading the messages when I came across 2 hate messages.

One about me being a male and women are stupid for liking men. A male????  OK. A little strange but I am happy that I am.

The other had something nasty to do with my eyes.

  Guess some people want to try and get a rise out of saying bad things about people they do not know. Must hate themselves pretty bad to go out of their way to try and hurt someone. 

  More good messages than bad...  could be worse and be the other way around. One simple click and they vanished from my life....  LOL!

Oh well, smile and continue on.

Wow! I can't believe I lost a month somewhere.

I checked everywhere from behind my computer to under the rug but I just can't seem to find it.

They say smoking takes days off the end of your life.....well, work takes months out of the middle of your life. Go figure.

I finally had a second to sit down and take a breath. After dumping all my email (spam), I decidied to check my page. It has been in the upper 90's here lately with 100% humidity.

I really want to go swimming but just don't seem to find the time.

I have recieved several messages wondering if that is really my picture. Well, it is. At first it kind of angered me, but then I thought that there are probably a lot of people that actually find pics and say it is them. Now I see it more as a compliment.... so Thank You. If anyone goes to my homepage, they can see my artwork and a few other pics. Its listed in my ICQ details and I'll also post it here....

http://home.neo.rr.com/wildelf/index.html

If you look real close you can see I used the picture I put on ICQ to do the "Groupies" pic.

And while you stop in and visit you could be nice and sign my guestbook.